I have been one of the lucky few who have received this special Grace. I am totally in the ether where

changes reach the deepest core of me, and made permanent, All old known boundaries have been

broken and the soul is free to go beyond believing into knowing.

There is no 'Apeksha' (expectation) for the pleasures of 'Swarg' (heaven), as reality is here and now.

"With the Divine- Shreeji - The brilliance of His light drowns me in total devotion and there is

nowhere else I want to go: the 'here and now' is all need to fulfill the soul journey.

Since back from Nathdwara, every time during the mudras, there are tears: not of sorrow, but of longing -

An incredible longing of wanting to experience myself - of Vrindavan - the different 'vans', the Seva kunj,

the Nikunj van, Shyam Van, Banshi Vat: that sacred Braj bhoomi, the Kadamb trees, the vibrational

fragrance of the divine land: basically all the original atmosphere, all the darshans etc.. Want to return

there : when I realize -

What am i asking for?

Yes, there are memories of something, of some 'time period', and desire to be able to travel back in time -

this separation from Krishn - from these profoundaly intense energies in whose Presence everything feels so

vibrant - is felt at every moment.

Except in the people close to God who have merged with the consciousness, can such a quality be felt;

or else -

In a world of beggars, who will give?

All are empty in themselves, hungry for various things -

Higher name, More money, Greater power -

Simply the strong desire to tower above the rest of the humanity in what ever capacity - could even

be in the mask of religion!

At times it can become very difficult and dangerous for a devotee to be confronted by non - believers,

who may want to argue and demand logical explanations for spiritual truths. Only the support from a

divine guru can help maintain the right balance, or else it’s easy to slip in the comfort of the known

way of religion and life, which all approve of. To be able to stay firm, one requires help and guidance

from the right guru or master, who is overflowing; and not hungry nor a beggar.

Emptying of doubts has to be there, to be able to feel the Higher Energies; which once accepted, will

carry you forward without your even realizing its happening — one day suddenly one awakens to

one's self — Whoa! Is this me? And the love for one's Self and the Divine and the Guru begins — soon

one feels this immense longing for answers — 'Who am I’; and one is 100% set on the journey, where

each moment, each day, is an increment in joy; and of course if one is able to maintain the right

Bhao, there are the incredible moments of 'Darshans', and the most amazing witnessing of divine

energy and aura.

He shares the 'Sakha bhao', to the fullest with Shreeji Baba; each one relies on the other and love flows freely.

am the disciple of such a Guru and MahaGuru !

It is being handed to me with so much trust —

Why? I ask —

"Your destiny, Your karma — Your naseeb". "You are very lucky that you've been found and the soul awakened, before

it got too late", says Gurushree.

Or else, who knows how many births more would've passed by, if Grace had not entered my life in the form of

Gurushree. "The darshans were very magnetic, and standing there in front of Shreeji Baba, I have this bhao of wanting

to go and hug Him. As He stands there, looks so attractive; how can anyone not want to go fall at His feet and touch

Him. The force is that strong it is impossible to move away from the charm and magic of Shreeji Baba".

This electricity, this energy, this purity and this devotion and love which fill me are astounding.

Despite all the hindrances, the Mysterious entered my life and the search for the knower began.

Sometimes I feel as if I'm there but not there. Though awareness is not very high I am just carried

into a state in which I forget myself as myself — as the personality. But those moments I feel I have

truly lived and want to extend them forever and ever.

Most of us are religious only out of our own greed. We do not seek Krishn (God). We only seek to

fulfil our greed and sense cravings. For that we follow various religious practices to try and fulfil our

materialistic needs and pleasures, which is also ok, but ultimately satisfaction or peace is not

achieved. Another true point is — Whatever type of needs we have — that type of guidance or person

appears in our life. The vibrations sent out in Tamas, Rajas or Sattvik is what brings back the results.

"No matter what everyone else thinks or says, if your own intentions are right, do not be afraid -

there are moments when you have to follow the call of your soulif you want to reach anywhere high

stop giving unnecessary importance to voices around. Most of them do not even understand what's

happening; all they're interested is trying to stop anyone from moving away from what they think is

the right way to do things".

I clarify this, as many have this wrong understanding; if one is in search for the truth and depth in

spirituality; the person is trying to run away from responsibilities and has stopped caring. I want to

state here that "deeper insights and higher spirituality teaches one to become more responsible and develop

develop greater compassion towards all".

There are the two identities we all live with — one is the regular worldly personality; these are the material, worldly

relationships we are born into; in which I am known as Abha Shahra — This has to be fulfilled and the responsibilities

completed in the best possible manner in total joy. This is also called the "Laukik'— (worldly) personality". There is the

other identity called the "Soul or Spiritual identity".

How suddenly it struck me again today, who Gurushree says I am and how elevated my soul is; That is who I truly am.

What was I going towards?-

That highest peak which all seekers strive for?-

The search for the 'knower' — The ultimate Reality — the Truth

So close to Krishn — to Shreeji?—

Am I worth it? Have to be-otherwise I would not have been chosen for all the blessings and krupa that I receive,

He always says — "You are very lucky! Your soul is different"

There are the two identities we all live with — one is the regular worldly personality; these are the material, worldly

relationships we are born into; in which I am known as Abha Shahra — This has to be fulfilled and the responsibilities

devotions and bliss.

other identity called the "Soul or Spiritual identity".